who am I now?

I am not the waitress that brings your penultimate meal and you don’t know of its status.

I am not Billy Collins although some days I wonder what it would be like to be him.

I am not any of the shards created from shattered glass once covering Harry Diamond’s legacy on my bookshelf.

I am not the second button from the top at the front of Lucian Freud’s winter coat in 1965 but I have always been flesh – just not captured by him

I am not a muppet although I feel a strong affinity.

I am not angry any more

I am not a fan of creatures with wings because I’ve never seen a dragon fly

I am not the reminder you assumed me to me.

I am not a clock nor hands on a face

I am not immune to the texture of the smell of sandpaper, fine

I am not your leftovers as you were never mine

But I am very much alive when I might have been dead inside and out

I am exceptionally sad some days without rhyme or reason

I am always remembering how I love you

I am someone who is loved by you

I am not a work in progress but finished each second to a different degree

I am not afraid of monkeys or wombats

I am unusually adept at making other people feel unusually adept

I am a vampire am I not?

I am already very different to when you began.

Images: © Fran Dileo, 2010
Text: © J. L. Nash, Who Am I Now?, 2010


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