I am calling out

… in dreams, through sweat, on paper to have him hear

My body feels wooden, the joints are
Hinged with dark, metal, paper staples
The skin parched, wrinkled, brittle like sheets
Of nori without him beside me.

Remember when our bodies melted
Into a single organism?
The depth of each movement together
Pushed me and you out of darkness.

I am calling out in dreams, through sweat, on paper to have him hear

I turn on this unyielding mattress
Not the one we customarily
Shared. My bones are stiff and my blood is
Cooling, clumping, stuck without him.

The smell of you became the scent of
Me as we tumbled softly. Laughing.
Every moment forging new adventures.
Never a doubt in tomorrow.

I am calling out in dreams, through sweat, on paper to have him hear

The temperature of my heart struggles
To nurture my liver, sick with grief.
My kidneys wrestle with the stone space
We inhabited, together.

Sapphires dropped from our lips when we kissed.
Red Fire opals backlit our dreams of
Every beginning, every ending,
Every walk in darkened moonlight.

I am calling out in dreams, through sweat, on paper to have him hear

Air, acrid as yesterday’s coffee
Grind, spikes in aching bronchioles
Where once, such sweet breath shared fast and slow.
I begin to suffocate now.

All mornings brought your name into me.
The slightest movement, lash upon cheek,
Traces of breath, blood, water and love,
Smeared and illuminated us.

I am calling out in dreams, through sweat, on paper to have you here

Poem: © I Am Calling Out by J. L. Nash, 2010
Images: © Denis Darzacq, Hyper, 2007

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  1. uxuriously yours

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