When I first saw him, well I know I SAW him before that day, but I clearly remember when I first SAW him, you know, like you do when you walk slap-bang into the corner shelf that might have been there for years but CRASH there it is and you see it differently every day from then on; well when I first saw him I was taken by his proportions.

After working as a life model for years, it is something I notice about beauty. It has a definite shape and poise and it is nothing you can find in a magazine. True beauty has something odd and uncomfortable about it. Like the tiniest of flaws in a silk scarf or the uneven rim of a gold edged porcelain tea-cup. He was silk and procelain all rolled into one. I know, to describe a man as odd and uncomfortable makes no sense in terms of conventional beauty nor to attribute such materials to his skin, muscle tone or eyes.

Never-the-less, there he was and that moment, glanced up at me and I fell though the smalles of two holes, Alice style.

I never tire of his tea-cup, neck-warming qualities. Nor am I able to escape out of such a tiny hole. It be quite genuine with you at this point, I actually have no desire to climb out of this minuscule space, even though at times, its sides can be quite itchy and still yet smooth and each time I open my eyes I choose between being night-blind or scorched.

I am an insomniac. Sleep is the curator of my nightmares, leaving me trails of earthbound booty and salt crystals. And so, I choose to remain awake so that I can always replay that single moment of two deep holes, porcelain, silk and imperfect proportion.


Text: © Proportion by J. L. Nash

Images & Video: DV8 Physical Theatre was formed in 1986 and is led by Lloyd Newson. The company has produced 16 highly acclaimed dance pieces, which have toured internationally, and five award-winning films for television.


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  1. I love DV8! thank you :-)